Here at Prasad Counseling and Training, many of our patients are highly trained professionals – medical providers, engineers in oil and gas, project managers, teachers, and attorneys. They work in demanding environments where competence matters, decisions carry consequences, and confidence is often expected.

But even among highly capable professionals, there’s a psychological pattern that can quietly influence decision-making: the Dunning–Kruger effect.

An recent article on Atlassian.com explains the concept simply: the Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people overestimate their own knowledge or abilities, particularly when they have limited experience in a specific area. The phenomenon was first described by psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger in a 1999 study showing that people who performed poorly on tests of humor, grammar, and logic also dramatically overestimated how well they had done.

This finding doesn’t mean people are unintelligent. Rather, it highlights a paradox: the skills needed to perform well are often the same skills needed to evaluate performance accurately. When those skills are still developing, people may not yet have the awareness to recognize their own gaps.

High-Achieving Professionals are Not Immune

If you are a physician, nurse practitioner, or other medical provider, you are likely to operate in an environment where decisiveness is valued.

“Confidence is essential when diagnosing a patient or responding to a clinical problem,” says Prasad Counseling and Training Practice Owner, Bill Prasad, LPC-S.

Yet medicine is also a field where the volume of knowledge is vast and constantly evolving. The Dunning–Kruger effect can sometimes appear when clinicians move into unfamiliar areas – such as new technologies, administrative leadership, or policy decisions – where their expertise is still developing. “Our practice has the contract with the EAP that serves Methodist Hospitals. We work with many providers who face challenges,” he adds.

Engineers in the oil and gas industry face similar dynamics. Engineering culture rewards technical mastery and problem-solving. However, when projects involve complex interdisciplinary systems—finance, regulatory frameworks, or human behavior—technical confidence can occasionally spill over into domains where expertise is still forming.

Leadership: Pressure on Managers to be Confident

Project managers encounter another version of this bias. Leadership roles often require projecting certainty in front of teams and stakeholders. Yet managing timelines, human dynamics, risk forecasts, and organizational politics simultaneously means no one has full mastery of every variable.

The temptation to appear fully confident can sometimes mask areas where collaboration or feedback would strengthen outcomes.

Dunning-Kruger for Academics

Teachers and educators also experience this dynamic.

“Many teachers develop deep mastery in curriculum and pedagogy, yet new educational technologies, policy changes, or classroom behavioral challenges can create unfamiliar territory,” says Prasad Counseling and Training Group Counselor and Former School Counselor, Carroll Prasad, LPC-S.

The Dunning–Kruger effect can occur during these transitions when early exposure to a new approach creates a sense of confidence before deeper mastery develops.

“Attorneys may recognize a similar pattern,” says Prasad Counseling and Training Psychotherapist Hannah Schaeffer. “Legal training builds analytical reasoning and persuasive confidence—two qualities that serve clients well,” she adds.

However, the law contains countless specialties. An attorney who is brilliant in litigation may initially underestimate the complexity of tax law, intellectual property, or regulatory compliance.

The Learning Curve Behind the Bias

The Atlassian article connects the Dunning–Kruger effect to a model called the four stages of competence:

1. Unconscious incompetence – You don’t yet realize what you don’t know.
2. Conscious incompetence – You recognize gaps and begin learning.
3. Conscious competence – You can perform the skill with effort.
4. Unconscious competence – The skill becomes second nature.

The Dunning–Kruger effect tends to show up early – between the first and second stages – when initial exposure creates confidence before experience has caught up.

Matters for Mental Health & Professional Growth

In high-performance professions, overconfidence can create several challenges. It can block learning if feedback is ignored. It can strain team trust when someone repeatedly overpromises. In safety-sensitive fields—medicine, engineering, or law—the stakes can also be significant.

But there is another side to the story. A small degree of optimism can also push people to attempt ambitious goals they might otherwise avoid. In that sense, confidence can be a powerful motivator.

Building Healthier Self-Awareness

Awareness is the best antidote to this bias. The Atlassian article suggests several strategies that are particularly relevant for professionals:

• Seek honest feedback from colleagues and mentors.
• Reflect on past projects to identify where strengths and gaps consistently appear.
• Encourage psychological safety on teams, where people can admit uncertainty without fear of embarrassment.
• Stay committed to lifelong learning, even in areas where you already feel competent.

For professionals like medical providers, engineers, project managers, teachers, and attorneys, humility is not weakness—it is a cognitive advantage.

Understanding the Dunning–Kruger effect doesn’t mean doubting yourself. Instead, it offers something more valuable: a clearer, more realistic understanding of where your strengths truly shine and where growth is still unfolding.

Why Group Psychotherapy Can Help

One of the most powerful ways to develop accurate self-awareness is through group psychotherapy.

“In a well-facilitated therapy group, individuals receive real-time feedback from others who observe their communication style, assumptions, and blind spots,” says Group Leader and Prasad Counseling and Training psychotherapist Thomas Fryar. “This kind of interpersonal mirror can gently challenge overconfidence while also correcting the opposite problem—unnecessary self-doubt,” he adds.

Group therapy also creates a psychologically safe environment where high-achieving professionals can practice curiosity, humility, and authentic dialogue. Over time, many people discover that the insights they gain from peers help them become not only more self-aware individuals, but also more effective leaders, collaborators, and decision-makers in their professional lives.

Understanding the Dunning–Kruger effect doesn’t mean doubting yourself. Instead, it offers something more valuable: a clearer, more realistic understanding of where your strengths truly shine and where growth is still unfolding.

If you’ve ever thought, “Parenting wasn’t supposed to feel this overwhelming,” you’re not alone.

As a psychotherapist working with children and families at Prasad Counseling and Training in Houston, Katelyn Klein, LPC-A, sees a noticeable shift in 2026. “Parenting has always required effort—but today, it is happening under intensified financial pressure, fewer support systems, and a pace of life that leaves little room to recover,” she says.

A recent article posted by Employee Benefits News (EBN) says the “village” that once supported families is shrinking. At the same time, the cost of raising a child continues to rise due to ongoing inflation, increased childcare costs, and higher expenses for housing, food, and activities.

These combined pressures are creating a perfect storm for parental stress and anxiety.

What’s Different About Parenting in 2026?

Parents today are navigating a convergence of stressors that feels uniquely intense:

• Rising cost of living: Childcare costs, groceries, and housing have all increased, stretching family budgets thinner than in previous years
• Expensive childcare: Full-time care can cost thousands per year per child, making consistent support difficult to maintain
• Less informal help: Families are more geographically spread out, with fewer relatives or neighbors available
• Always-on work culture: Even with hybrid flexibility, many parents feel mentally tethered to work throughout the day
• Dual caregiving roles: More parents are simultaneously supporting children and aging parents

As Klein explains, “In 2026, parents aren’t just balancing responsibilities—they’re managing ongoing uncertainty. Financial strain and lack of backup support keep many families in a constant state of stress.”

The Mental Load: Why Parents Feel Constantly Overwhelmed

Beyond logistics, many parents are carrying a heavy cognitive and emotional load:

• “What if childcare falls through and I can’t miss work?”
• “How do I afford everything my child needs?”
• “Am I doing enough as a parent?”

This level of sustained mental pressure can keep your nervous system activated, making it difficult to rest, feel present, or fully enjoy time with your child.

Over time, this can lead to chronic anxiety, irritability, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

How Parental Stress Impacts Children

Children are highly sensitive to emotional environments. Even when parents try to shield them, kids often pick up on stress and tension.

In therapy, this can show up as:

• Increased anxiety or clinginess
• Behavioral challenges or emotional outbursts
• Difficulty regulating emotions
• Withdrawal or heightened sensitivity

Klein notes, “Children don’t need perfect parents—they need emotionally available ones. When stress is constant, it can make that availability much harder.”

This is not about blame—it’s about awareness. When parents receive support and feel more regulated, children often show meaningful improvement.

When Support Becomes Essential

Many parents delay seeking help, assuming they should be able to “handle it.” But in today’s environment, support is not a luxury—it’s a necessary part of maintaining family well-being.

At Prasad Counseling and Training in Houston, we offer evidence-based services designed to reduce stress and strengthen families:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Helps parents manage anxiety, challenge overwhelming thought patterns, and build effective coping strategies.

Family Counseling:
Improves communication, reduces conflict, and strengthens the emotional connection within the family.

Group Therapy:
Connects parents with others facing similar challenges, reducing isolation and creating a sense of shared support.

Couples Therapy:
Helps partners navigate parenting stress together and build a more cohesive, supportive relationship.

These services can help reduce the emotional burden you’re carrying while improving your child’s sense of stability.

Rebuilding Your “Village” in a Modern World

The traditional village may not exist in the same way—but that doesn’t mean support is out of reach.

Klein emphasizes, “In today’s world, parents often have to build their village intentionally. Therapy, community, and structured support can become part of that foundation.”

This might include:

• Professional mental health support
• Reliable childcare solutions
• Strengthening a smaller circle of trusted relationships
• Creating community through shared experiences

You don’t have to navigate this alone.

A Healthier Path Forward

If you’re feeling stretched thin, financially pressured, or emotionally overwhelmed, your response makes sense given the demands of parenting in 2026.

Seeking support is one of the most effective ways to improve both your well-being and your child’s emotional health.

When parents feel calmer, more supported, and more regulated, children feel safer—and are better able to thrive.

If you’re ready to feel more balanced and supported, Prasad Counseling and Training is here to help. Send us a message online or call our Houston office at 281-948-3322.

Does February 14 leave you quizzing yourself about why you don’t have a date or someone to dote on? Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful opportunity for self-care and personal celebration, rather than a day to feel left out.

Tips for Surviving Valentine’s Day

Here’s how to make it meaningful and enjoyable:

1. Do some acts of kindness. If you’re feeling down, channel that energy into helping others. Volunteer at a local shelter, visit an elderly neighbor, or send cards to friends and family expressing your appreciation for them. Acts of kindness can shift your focus outward and remind you of the many different types of love that exist beyond romantic relationships.
2. Transform the day into a celebration of self-love. Take a bite out of loneliness by planning something special just for yourself – perhaps that fancy restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. There can be something empowering about confidently dining solo or ordering your favorite takeout. Remember, your favorite dessert will never desert you! Combine an Epicurean delight with a cozy atmosphere at home with candles and your favorite movies.
3. Create a holiday that suits you! Consider hosting a “Galentine’s Day” or “Palentine’s Day” gathering. Invite other single friends for a potluck dinner, game night, or movie marathon. You might be surprised how many people would appreciate an alternative celebration. This can become an anticipated annual tradition that’s just as meaningful as traditional Valentine’s celebrations.
4. Put down the phone. Limit exposure to social media that can be riddled with unrealistic messages about how you should be paired and how your life should be filled with romance. Stop shoulding on yourself!
5. Don’t scroll for ex’s. Resist the temptation to hook up with anyone so that you are not alone on Valentine’s Day. One day of lust may be followed by a day of loathing.
6. Celebrate you! Use the day for personal growth and pampering. Book a massage, take a luxurious bath, or spend time on a hobby you’ve been neglecting. Maybe sign up for that cooking class or art workshop you’ve been eyeing. Learning and exploring something new can be incredibly fulfilling and might even lead to meeting like-minded people.
7. Treat yourself. How about going to your favorite gourmet grocery store? Remember, aisle B will always be there for you!

There is Nothing Wrong with Being Alone on Valentine’s Day

Being single on Valentine’s Day is completely normal and valid.

Instead of viewing it as lacking something, reframe it as having freedom and independence. Use the money you might have spent on a partner’s gift to invest in yourself – whether that’s buying something you’ve wanted for a while or putting it toward a future goal or experience.

The key is to approach the day with intention and self-compassion, rather than letting external pressure define your experience. Finally, if someone asks if you have a date for Valentine’s Day say, “Yes, its February 14^th!”

Busting Common Romance Myths

Do opposites attract? Are women more romantic? Don’t fall for the stereotypes about love. Watch this video to get some real answers in the area of love, jealousy and romance.

By Bill Prasad, LPC-S, LCDC

As Thanksgiving approaches, many families start to feel anxious—not about the food or the travel—but about the conversations. Politics can turn a happy gathering into a battlefield faster than you can pass the mashed potatoes. How do you avoid political fights with those you disagree with? Every family has one relative who thinks the dinner table is a debate stage. Unfortunately, the moderator is nowhere to be found.

7 Strategies to Avoiding Political Battles Over the Holidays

The truth is political talk in families isn’t really about policy. It’s about identity, belonging, and fear. People defend political positions because they represent something deeper—values, self-worth, even safety. Understanding that can change the way we respond.

1. Listen for the Emotion, Not the Argument

When a family member makes a strong political statement, try to hear the feeling underneath it. “This country’s falling apart” often really means, “I’m worried about the future.” Responding to the emotion—rather than the argument—creates connection instead of conflict.

2. Try Relational Aikido

When someone comes at you with strong opinions, don’t block or push back. Redirect.
If a cousin says, “People like you don’t get it,” you might respond, “It sounds like you’ve been feeling frustrated by how people talk about this issue.” You haven’t agreed—but you’ve shifted the tone. Emotional validation disarms tension faster than logic ever can.

3. Set Boundaries that Protect Connection

Some families decide that certain spaces—like dinner, birthdays, or game night—are politics-free zones. It’s not avoidance; it’s protection. Think of it as a boundary that prioritizes relationships over rhetoric. Families that last through political divides are the ones that know when to not engage.

4. Choose Connection Over Convincing

Ask yourself before you respond: Do I want to connect or convince?

If it’s the latter, you’re headed for trouble. No one’s ever had their political beliefs changed over turkey and stuffing. But connection—listening, curiosity, empathy—can change the emotional climate of a family.

5. Stay Regulated

Political outrage is contagious. Once adrenaline and cortisol rise, logic leaves the room. Before reacting, pause. If you feel your blood pressure rising, take a breath. The stuffing isn’t worth a stroke. Make a quick joke to reset the tone. Calm isn’t weakness—it’s leadership.

6. Focus on Shared Values

Even when you disagree on candidates or policies, there’s often a shared moral core: wanting safety, fairness, or opportunity. When you highlight what you share, you bring people back to the human level beneath the politics.

7. Accept that Peace Doesn’t Require Agreement

Emotional maturity means being able to sit at the same table with someone who votes differently—and still enjoy the meal. The goal isn’t to win; it’s to stay connected. Families can survive political differences when they value love over being right. You won’t change your uncle’s vote this Thanksgiving. But you can keep him from throwing the mashed potatoes.

The goal isn’t to win the argument, it’s to preserve the connection.

At some point, you may have to choose: dessert or debate. One of them will actually make you feel good. In the end, political peace at home isn’t about walking on eggshells—it’s about remembering what really matters.  When we protect our relationships, we model the kind of civility our country could use more of.

About Prasad Counseling & Training

At Prasad Counseling and Training, we help individuals, couples, and families strengthen communication, navigate conflict, and build connection across differences. Whether you are looking for solutions to handle additional challenges with family conflict or help for dealing with other issues causing stress, anxiety or depression, give us a call. To learn more, contact our office to schedule an appointment.

The fear and sadness surrounding the flash floods in Central Texas continue to spread as quickly as the water rose, leaving parents struggling to find the words to discuss this with their children. Explaining such a tragic incident as the Texas flooding can be difficult, but it’s necessary to help them regulate their emotions.

How Parents Can Talk to Kids About Tragic News

1. Start with an overview

Begin by summarizing the events in straightforward terms: cities and campgrounds were flooded when the Guadalupe River overflowed due to rainfall. Make it clear that even in areas like “Flash Flood Alley,” this was a rare occurrence. This will help your children understand the magnitude without making it seem like a constant threat.

2. Tailor your approach depending on your child’s age

Children process crises based on their developmental stage, so keep in mind what the ideal ways are to handle difficult topics to a child depending at the stage they are at.

• • Children (Ages 4-8) Focus on reassuring and speak in simple terms. Explain how some residents had to flee their homes because of a large rainstorm that caused a river to overflow. Ensure them that they are safe and there are many people helping these individuals. To reduce their anxiety, use a map to show them that the area is far away from their home. Avoid giving them too much information. Answer all their questions calmly.
  • Preteens (Ages 9-12) Children in this age group are particularly curious and ask more directly about deaths or damage. Don’t be graphic but be honest. Give them a truthful explanation of what happened and encourage them to share their emotions. Allow your kids to come up with ideas for helping, such as sending rescue responders a thank-you note. This will reduce feelings of helplessness.
  • Teenagers (Ages 13-18) Teens are able to comprehend more emotional and social consequences. Encourage open discussions, acknowledge their feelings, and engage in conversations about the situation. If they want to watch the news, watch it with them. Ask your kids how they would like to contribute, such as by volunteering, planning drives, or spreading awareness on social media. Knowing they can contribute to the solution might help them.

No matter what their age, children benefit significantly from reassuring words, calm demeanors, and a willingness to listen.

3. Recognize feelings and create space

Kids may experience sadness, confusion, or fear. Remind them that it’s acceptable to be angry. An example could be, “It’s normal to feel worried when we hear about people losing their homes or pets.” Establish a secure environment where they can express their concerns and ask questions.

4. Stress activity and safety

Assure them that you are keeping them safe by keeping an eye on weather alerts, having emergency plans, and being aware of safe locations. Describe how groups of volunteers, National Guard members, and rescuers are working nonstop to assist families and animals.

5. Teach empathy

Talk to your child about acts of community service, such as pets being airlifted to safety, shelters set up for displaced families, or rescuers arriving by plane to save campers. This shows them how people unite when the community is in need.

6. Channel grief into hope and action

Think about offering to help those directly affected by the Texas flooding by sending letters to families or rescue volunteers, gathering donated goods, or by  creating encouraging notes or drawings. This will help them channel their emotions into constructive action.

Parents: Be Mindful of Your Own Feelings

Parents should understand that they are also influenced by events. How have the Texas flooding or other recent news affected your thoughts and feelings? Recognize your own uncomfortable feelings and share some of those feelings with your son or daughter, based on their age. Despite the horror of this event, it can be a valuable teaching moment for a child or teenager.

Navigating life’s challenges while managing minority stress takes extraordinary strength. In addition, there is reason to believe there is more oppression on the horizon.

LGBTQIA+ individuals face heightened discrimination and threat as they are directly targeted by what some call oppressive government policies and a geo-political clash.

Realities of LGBTQIA+ Discrimination

• LGBTQIA+ people continue to experience disproportionate rates of victimization and violence because of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity
• Mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation are more common among this group as compared to the heterosexual population
• Substance use disorders in the LGBTQIA+ community occur more frequently than the general population
• LGBTQIA+ individuals face additional risk of depression due to oppression, discrimination, stigma, family rejection, and internalized homophobia or transphobia
• One out of every four LGBTQIA+ youth report feeling depressed most of the time
• Transgender and nonbinary youth report more than four times greater rates of suicide attempts compared with their cisgender peers

LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy

“Sometimes that strength means reaching out for support,” says Hannah Schaeffer, psychotherapist at Prasad Counseling and Training.

LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapy embraces diverse sexual and gender identities and aims to promote mental health and well-being by creating a safe and supportive environment tailored to the unique needs of LGBTQIA+ individuals. “As therapists, must be an ally to this community,” Schaeffer adds.

Cultural Conflict and the Search for Self-Acceptance

With the rising tensions between China and the U.S., some transgender Asian Americans report cases of double discrimination explained, practice owner Bill Prasad, LPC-S, LCDC while speaking to a group of therapists in Houston. “They face discrimination because they are Asian Americans and because they are transgender.”

Many LGBTQ+ individuals find that counseling helps them develop resilience, improve relationships, and work through internalized negative messages they’ve absorbed from society.

Clients deserve to feel empowered in who they are while. This means they should receive support in how to care for themselves and develop effective coping skills to deal with societal pressures and personal struggles related to their identities. Whether you’re questioning, coming out, transitioning, or simply wanting to thrive more fully as yourself, therapy can help.

Specialized Mental Health Care for LGBTQIA+

Mental healthcare should be a place of safety, not scrutiny. LBTQIA+ identity is something to be celebrated and cultivated. When you find yourself in a safe and supportive space, you will find that it is easier to cut out the noise, reject the negative beliefs that others may thrust upon you, and connect with your authentic self. You will find empowerment in knowing and loving who you are with the support of a caring and committed therapist.

It is imperative to find a therapist who you can trust, who stands behind you, and affirms and validates your experience to help you achieve your goals.

You are not alone. There is truly so much joy to be had in living out your unique, authentic, and beautiful experience as an LGBTQIA+ individual.

Throughout the journey of self-discovery and healing, therapy can equip you to build resilience in the face of minority stress, drawing on your innate strengths to continue moving through the world with pride, self-love, and confidence.

How Can Hannah at Prasad Counseling & Training help?

Among the skilled and experienced clinicians at our Houston group practice, Hannah Schaeffer provides valuable counseling solutions specialized for those in the LGBTQ+ community. Hannah, an ally, is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate who works with adults and teenagers.

Learn more on our website about the specialized LGBTQIA+ counseling services provided at Prasad Counseling & Training, offering both virtual sessions and in-person therapy at our downtown Houston office.

Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness but of courage and self-care. Taking this step means believing you deserve to heal, grow, and live authentically. Your journey matters, and you don’t have to walk it alone.

The Effects of Pope Francis’ Death

The death of Pope Francis puts religion under the spotlight. His sudden loss can spark a range of psychological responses including grief, shock and emotional distress. For Catholics, the death is a significant event that could raise questions about their faith, the role the Pope played in their lives and the leadership direction for the church.

All of this makes the intersection of religion and psychology a complex and evolving landscape. Lauren Jackson discusses religious trends in her New York Times article titled “One Nation, under God.” While traditional religious belief has been on the decline, spirituality remains a strong psychological force in American life.

How Religion and Spirituality Are Shifting in American Culture

The Pew Research Center’s findings suggest that although there is a decline in formal religious participation, 92% of American adults still have some form of religious belief. This shows that people still have a psychological need for community, meaning, and coping mechanisms.

Psychology has explored the role of religion in well-being, and studies reveal that religion can provide social support, comfort, and a framework for moral reasoning, which all contribute to psychological resilience.

During times of uncertainty, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, political upheaval and stock market turmoil, many individuals turn to religion as a coping mechanism. This supports psychological theories suggesting that people turn to belief systems to make sense of and get through periods of suffering and uncertainty.

“One Nation, under God” also highlights a key psychological aspect of religious evolution, which is the role of identity and group belonging. Political polarization has caused some individuals to leave religious institutions that do not align with their values. Those who remain part of their religious institutions tend to be highly committed, which shows that people still participating in traditional religious beliefs have aligned with their social and political identities.

Alternative spiritual movements are on the rise. For example, in Silicon Valley, technology billionaires are more attracted to Christianity and “religion-adjacent” ideas such as transhumanism and immortality.

The Enduring Psychological Need for Purpose and Spiritual Connection

Even with the rise of secularization, the Pew study suggests that America’s religious decline is at a halt. The continuation of spirituality, even among people unaffiliated with organized religion, reveals that the human mind continues to gravitate towards purpose and transcendence. These ideas have been popularized by faith-based media in television series such as “The White Lotus” and “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.”

While religious affiliation may shift, the psychological need for meaning, community, and coping mechanisms is evident, especially following the loss of a religious leader. Americans continue to engage with religion in ways that fulfill their psychological needs through traditional faith, spiritual practices, or emerging belief systems.

As America continues to evolve, the psychological role of religion and spirituality remains vital. Whether rooted in traditional faith or new spiritual movements, the human search for meaning persists. Understanding these shifts can help individuals and communities find healthier ways to cope, connect, and thrive.”

If you’re navigating questions about faith, identity, or coping with change, speaking with a licensed counselor can help. Contact Prasad Counseling & Therapy to learn more about how we support emotional and spiritual well-being.

Female Portrayal In Current Media

As we settle into life during a pandemic more children may be exposed to more mass media images to help lessen social isolation. A new report published by the Council on Contemporary Families says female characters are underrepresented in most popular tv shows for children. When they are shown often they are portrayed in a sexualized way

During their study, researchers gave little girls a Barbie to play with. Afterward, they were asked about their career aspirations. Their responses were limited.

After other girls were given a Mr. Potato Head to play with, the girls responded with many more career choices.

Researchers say girls quickly learned that the way to achieve high status and popularity is to be sexy not smart or athletic. The study found that boys were not objectifying girls at this age.

Girls, on the other hand, were able to recount elaborate stories about why sexualized girls are more attractive. It was based on seeing images of adult women, meaning it may not be a kid’s problem. It may be a grown-up problem. Girls are trying to live up to a sexualized version of grown-up women that they are told is valued by grown-up men.

What’s on your Christmas list? Apparently, Santa has something special for himself under the tree. A Fiat TV commercial features Chris Cringle shopping for a car with two female elves whose scant clothing suggests they were provided by the Vixen’s Little Deers escort service. This is just one part of pop culture’s shifting terrain that may be sending the wrong messages to adolescent girls.   

On the front lines are psychotherapists working in private practice, at psychiatric hospitals, and drug treatment centers. Adolescents present with their own set of unique psychological reactions which place great demands on a therapist’s skill set. While research shows that most therapists find their roles rewarding, the numbers also show that high levels of burnout can impair their emotional and physical health, as they collide with messages sent being sent by pop culture.

I faced one of those collisions during group therapy with adolescent girls in drug treatment. As I gazed at one girl, one eye stared back at me from her stomach.  This was the 14-year-old girl’s navel and its exposure was not accidental. This was an overt attempt at garnering attention by a teenager who openly shared her aspirations to become a stripper. While I urged the group to ponder the unveiling of her anatomy and her career choice, I reflected on the message being proffered to our girls by the women they lionize. 

Since the mid-1990s, an escalating number of starlets have set the tone that sexuality on steroids is the drug of fame. In 1995 when actress Elizabeth Berkley stepped on stage as a stripper in “Showgirls,” the former “Saved by the Bell” cast member quickly discovered her waning career would not be saved by a pole. From Berkley to Jennifer Aniston’s 2013 “We’re the Millers,” I count at least 14 movie stars playing strippers. From Jessica Beal to Halle Berry, to Demi Moore in “Striptease”, there are more, more and more. 

Therapists and pop culture have gone to war before. As I look back, Mick Jagger’s tongue did push the limits. Madonna wasn’t exactly a saint. Actress Rashida Jones ignited a Twitter inferno with Tweets and an essay in Glamour Magazine discussing how “Me So Horny” by 2 Live Crew did test the limits. But Jones implied that Rihanna’s “Pouring it Up” a pole and Lady Gaga’s open invite to “Do What You Want with My Body” signaled that “a new era had arrived.”

Richard Cohen, from the PostPartisan blog, wrote, “What is being celebrated is not sexuality but sexual exploitation, a mean casualness that deprives intimacy of all intimacy.” We have moved from tweeting to twerking and beyond. Our girls are being urged to assume that objectifying women, then debasing them, is a treasured aspect of pop culture. The pontification of all that is female featuring skin, tongues and bending over are the calling card of the new normal.

Reality TV is also giving us a dose of our new reality when it addresses pregnancy. Shows like WAGS sometimes send a message to young girls that the way to land a man is to land in the maternity ward. During an episode of The Wendy Williams Show, she encouraged a married woman to trick her husband into pregnancy by not taking her birth control. In addition, Fakeababy.com offers an instant baby bump by selling fake pregnancy tests, DNA tests, phony sonograms, and ultrasounds while proclaiming with a wink and a nudge, that the goal is to pull a prank. For the moment, teen pregnancy rates remain low, meaning that good parenting and good counseling are winning over Wendy, WAGS, and worrisome websites.

Recreational use of THC is now allowed in at least seven states and Washington D.C. Twenty-four states passed laws allowing medical marijuana use. These measures send mixed messages to teens, some of whom believe that marijuana can cure cancer. Some parents I have worked with take a “reduced harm” stance saying, “At least my teen isn’t doing heroin.” What is clear is that science shows marijuana can be deleterious to the development of a teen’s brain. Counselors find themselves boxed in by changing laws, some misguided parents and teens whose personalities call for experimentation. 

The dangerous combination of suggestive female icons and possible experimentation with marijuana and alcohol can help strip a young girl of boundaries, sometimes sending the message that she should never have had boundaries in the first place. Therapists and parents have an opportunity to model what is healthy behavior for a woman and what are realistic expectations of women. There are moments when our job is to teach and encourage adolescent girls to express themselves without sexual objectification and drugs.

This year as we wait for Santa to come down the chimney, we can hope that Vixen has a tail and horns, that the pole is found North of here, and that the only thing hot about the elves is their cocoa. Perhaps the greatest gift a therapist and a parent can give to an adolescent girl is to model healthy behavior in a world where even Santa is portrayed as being more naughty than nice.