The hidden “job” of managing a man’s happiness
You’ll never guess why some single women have stopped dating!
It is called “Mankeeping.” It refers to the practice of maintaining or managing a male partner’s well-being or happiness in a relationship. The term is often used in a somewhat humorous or strategic context. The concept can include things like:
- Being attentive to a partner’s needs and preferences
- Maintaining physical appearance and attraction
- Managing communication and emotional connection
- Understanding what motivates or pleases one’s partner
Some people use the term more broadly to refer to any ongoing management of relationships with men in their lives, whether romantic, professional, or personal.
However, not every single woman thinks that a man who wants to be treated this way is a keeper. Many single women view Mankeeping as exhausting emotional labor.
Mankeeping from a Young Woman’s Perspective
Prasad Counseling Intern and Fordham University Psychology student Hali Kleiman offers her opinion on Mankeeping:
“As a 21-year-old woman in 2025, when I first read Angelica Ferrara’s Theorizing Mankeeping: “The Male Friendship Recession and Women’s Associated Labor as a Structural Component of Gender Inequality and the overall concept of Mankeeping, my reaction was “Oh, 100%, most, if not all of my friends have dealt with this, including me.”
As a young single woman, I find this concept to be immensely prevalent while navigating romantic relationships, to the point where I have almost given up on dating. Well, that is a bit of an exaggeration, I mean, I went on a date this past month, but based on past experiences, I hold this mindset that a majority of men today just want a “relationship” so that they gain external validation and emotional security from their partner. From my experience, men tend to expect women to be their full-time emotional support system, and do not extend the same level of care back to their partners— an identical trend that has been experienced by my friends as well.
In the past, Mankeeping has left me emotionally drained, with no time to take care of or focus on myself. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t say I have given up on dating in its entirety, but my main priority is not a relationship, my primary focus is working towards my goals and building the life I strive to attain; and quite honestly, my life is so much more at peace when I do not find myself entertaining individuals who expect me to “Mankeep” them.
Until I meet someone who aligns with my life and craves a healthy relationship that involves mutual effort from both partners, I am completely content on my own! Overall, Mankeeping is an intriguing and prevalent topic in today’s society, especially seen in adolescent dating. However, it’s worth noting that healthy relationships should involve mutual effort from both partners rather than one person doing all the “keeping.”
The Status of Mankeeping in America
What do the numbers say?
- In U.S. couples, 59% of women say they do more household chores than their partner, while only 6% say their partner does more (Pew Research)
- According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics / Time-Use data: In 2023, women spent about 1.9 hours/day on chores like cooking, cleaning, yardwork vs about 1 hour/day for men (Washington Post)
- A study from Italy called “Beyond Time: Unveiling the Invisible Burden of Mental Load” shows women report much higher responsibility for organizing household/childcare tasks, more emotional fatigue, and more carry-over of family duties into paid work hours
Mankeeping is when it feels like you’ve adopted a full-grown man-child.
In a healthy bond, he shares the load; in Mankeeping, the woman is the load-bearer. One builds you up, the other wears you down. Ladies—choose love, not unpaid emotional labor!
Men, swap the Mankeeping for teamwork—real strength is sharing the weight.
Step up with love, respect, and consistency, and you’ll build a partnership. A healthy relationship is when you feel loved, respected, and free to be yourself.
Support for Individuals & Couples
If you are struggling with issues of Mankeeping or other problems in your relationship, therapy may be a great place to find support for what you’re experiencing as well as help for improving your situation.
Prasad Counseling & Training provides a variety of counseling services including group and couples therapy.
Contact us at our downtown Houston office to learn about the variety of services you could benefit either on your own or with your partner. Call us at 281-948-3322.
